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UNISON announces merger with United Grand Lodge of England

Nick McMaster


BREAKING NEWS:

 

UNISON today has announced that it is merging with the United Grand Lodge of England, otherwise known as the Freemasons.

 

 

In a moving moment alongside Grandmaster HRH The Duke of Kent, Dave Prentis, General Secretary of UNISON standing on the steps of the Grand Lodge in Great Queen Street, London, said "I am honoured to have forged this historic alliance with our brothers and sisters - though mainly brothers - of the Freemasons. 1.3 million UNISON members now join with 250,000 masons, thereby creating an organisation that will not only stand up to the attacks on the NHS but will help keep the Tories in power, so we can continue to stand up to the attacks on the NHS for generations to come."

 

Responding to the news, UNISON Branch Secretary Nick McMaster said "I am greatly warmed by this news. Our nurses, allied professionals, support workers, estates and facilities staff and administrators will now hopefully forge great relationships with cab drivers in fighting austerity, or at least get a cheaper fare after a work do."

 

In related news, the sales of kitchen aprons across all major retailers has increased by 450%, bolstered by 1 large order from Euston Road, London.