A welcome of sorts
Welcome to what I hope is at least the first of a few general election communications in the build up to the 7th May. Though this good intention does rest on how your Comms Officer can cope writing this whilst surrounded by screaming children, upset at the under-the-sofa-loss of Breaky Crunch from Series 2 Shopkins.
I have never known why the election is only on one day and not over the weekend, but I imagine its the fault of immigration. Or at least that's what UKIP would have us believe.
Oh, I'll declare now that one is no fan of Mr Farage. Probably because I am an immigrant. My family came over with the Romans.
Stuoopid question. Can you vote?
The likelihood is that if you are reading this you are registered to vote. However, this election is so important to the future of the NHS (i.e. will it have one?) that there is just as much focus on those who can't/ don't vote as those that do. It is this group of people that could really swing an election. We wouldn't have to focus so much on Mondeo Man, Essex Man or Batman swinging those marginals if those 15.9 million found the time to put a cross on a piece of paper in their local scout hut.
It is again likely that if you are reading this you are at least interested in the outcome of the election. Why not turn that interest into a force for good and persuade anyone you know who is not registered to vote to do so. They have ten days and it takes three minutes, which is enough time to boil an egg or, in this house, drink a pint to blot out the emotional trauma caused by those damn Shopkins.
If you do have young people in your house of voting age, it is obvious they are to blame for keeping Dave in at number 10. And they never tidy their room.
Why? Because they are statistically less much likely to vote than the generally Conservative older population.
So, get them to go to https://www.gov.uk/register-to-vote (I believe they are good at this interweb thingy) and help save us from another 5 years of being ConDem'd to further AusterityMaxProPlusExtra cuts.
We know you exist
It's a long shot, but some of you reading this may actually be thinking about voting for UKIP. So first of all let us clear up a few myths. This lot aren't anti-establishment outsiders or chirpy men-of-the-people challenging the Westminster political elite. They are mainly ex Tories, funded by ex Tories, and voted for by ex Tories. But they are drawing support from the traditional Labour voting working class too.
But please do not be fooled. We have seen the like before. They are no friends of the working people. They are hateful and spiteful. Fear is their watchword, beer and fags their fuel.
Oh, and they are chancers. If you hated something so much, would you have anything to do with it? They may not like the European Union, but they really like the Euro.
Oh yes, the Tories
Lets face it, the Labour party idiotically did the NHS no favours last time round when they built the bridges to further privatisation. But the Tories marched over those bridges with glee and are desperately trying to blow them up. So, if you want to see how our taxes are increasingly likely to go into the pockets of Dave's NHS dismantling mates, then check out this great graphic: Keep 'em in and this will only increase.
Margins of Error
Our branch covers a huge geographical area (second only to the old Soviet empire) and within this area there are several marginal seats that could help decide the outcome of the next general election.
In Hove and Portslade, from the 2010 election, Labour only trail the Tories by 3.7%. Only 1,868 votes are needed for Peter Kyle, pictured here (2nd Right) visiting branch at Mill View Hospital, Brighton, to become a Labour MP.
Meanwhile in Brighton Kemptown, Labour's lovely Nancy Platts pictured with yours truly, and a staunch defender of the NHS, only needs to turn around a Tory majority of 1,328 to become their next MP.
As for Brighton Pavilion, this where representing a Labour party affiliated union becomes difficult, but let us just say, only tears of joy will be shed if Caroline Lucas is re-elected. She has been a big supporter of various branch campaigns and we thank her for it.
And down in Hastings and Rye a mere 4% swing from the Tories to Labour may mean that 2015 could become a more memorable date than 1066. At least for the NHS. Just think if Harold had access to A&E. Come to think of it, with waiting times increasing under the Tories, he'd still be dead.
Get out of bed for Ed
It seems that he may be a bit of a playa, according to the Daily Fail, but - even if he is giving you those come-to-bed eyes - these are the reasons you need to get up and vote for the NHS, sleepyheads.